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And then many more of the greatest letters...
Oh dear. What horrible news. Words are truly inadequate at times like this; please know both you and Ed will be in my thoughts. I can't imagine the devastation a parent feels upon losing a child; I only know from my mother's accounts that there is nothing worse in this life. To compound that misery, to lose a child to murder must make the whole situation that much more unbearable. I'm just sitting here, shaking my head at the loss, the waste of a precious life, the days and weeks and months ahead that must be faced and endured and there are no words to express the emotions that leave one feeling so empty and helpless to help.
I send you wishes of strength and fortitude and love; please keep us in touch with how things are going. Have a safe trip,
dgz
Chris,
Hi... And I'm Soooo Sorry For You, Thats A Huge Loss.... I Can't beleive How The Way People In this World All Are..... I Am VERY Sorry, I I Hope The Catch The Son Of A Bitch, ( Excuse My Launguage ). Sorry,
Eric... Tell Ed I Am Very Sorry....
Chris and Ed,
I am really sorry to hear of your loss especially given that you had been talking in such positive terms about Andrea when I was out in the Spring. I can't imagine what you are feeling now. I can say, however, that I know how hard I was hit when my daughter was the victim of violence. She had been abducted just about exactly eight years ago, held in a motel, raped and tortured for three days. It isn't anything I had ever mentioned to you but it seems important now because many aspects of the nightmare returned when I found out from Jeff this morning what had happened. When I read your e-mail regarding the fact that the likely perpetrator was free, I was especially shaken. It took over two years for justice to come to a conclusion on the matter for Tori and of course there is no real conclusion to this kind of event. The struggle to keep from being consumed by hatred and anger during this time was for me the greatest challenge. These feelings are coming up for me again as I write this note. At the same time I have gratitude that my daughter, though still wounded, is alive to work on the issues. At the same time, this makes me very sad for both of you. Of course I would love to do something to help but really can't imagine what that might be. If there is anything at all that comes to your minds that I might do, consider it done before asking and let me know what it is.
My very deepest condolences,
Hugh
Fawnn: Please see that Ed gets this! Thanks! =)
Dear Ed,
Fawnn was kind enough to forward on the news of your tragic loss, and even though I'd only seen you on the channel a few times and have never met your daughter, I am sincerely sorry for your loss, and my prayers go out to you and your family and that the perpetrator is caught very quickly so he may pay for his crime. No one can replace your daughter or bring her back, but perhaps having him behind bars will give you peace of mind. Again, please accept my deepest condolences.
Donna ("Blitzen")
Chris - Thank you for letting us know of the terrible tragedy. I've known Ed a relatively short time but grew immediately to a warm personal and business relationship. I am greatly saddened to hear the news. My heart goes out to you both. Ed has spoken of you many times and I know the strength you provide for him. God bless you. Please let me know if I can help in any way at all.
Dennis Wilson
To Ed And Chris -
I had just received the message about what happened - I send my condolences to you and your family in this tough time. Our hearts and prayers are with you. I do hope they find the person...
Sincerely, and sympathetically..Casey
Dear Chris, I was stunned by the news....Lord,... You and ED have my deepest sympathies... I really don't know what else to say..just that I wish I could personally give you both a hug.. you both are in my prayers...
{{{{{{{{{{ Chris}}}}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ ED }}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sincerely, your friend..Rosali
Chris,
This news is SO SAD. Craig and I are praying for you, Ed and your whole family. Please let Ed know that we are "with him" in spirit. What a tragic shock. Thank you for letting us know, as Craig will pass it on to others that he knows love Ed. This is a time when words are hard to find. But do know that if there is anything we can do, please contact us.
With love and prayers, Craig and Margie Keith
When we feel all alone, and there is heartbreak all around, remember, that's when He carries us. One set of footprints.
Dearest Chris and Ed:
I am very sorry to hear about the tragedy with your daughter. If there is anything that I can do at all, please give me a call. My thoughts and prayers will be with you both. Cindi
Ed,
I was so saddened to hear the news of your loss. As the father of two daughters, I can imagine how I would feel in your situation. My sympathy and my prayers are with you.
Bob
Hi Chris...thank you so much for the update. I have sent it on to be sent out to all his friends that we know of.
I continue to keep you, Ed, and the rest of the family in my prayers as I'm sure the others do also. Please tell Ed that if he needs to talk, whine, or carry on and not worry about what people might think of him (including wanting to castrate, then cover in gas and set on fire the guy(s) that did this) he can talk to me. I've been told I have a good ear (or eye in this case. <smile>) for listening.
Huggs to you and give extra tight ones to Ed when he comes home from me also. Take care.
Jodi (Doje)
Ed and Chris,
My thoughts and prayers are with you, as our those of many, many other of your friends here in #Authors.
Jodi (Doje) keeps me abreast of the details surrounding your loss, and, I, in turn, forward that information on the Fawnn'sFriends Authors mailing list.
Hugs (and holding you both close to my heart) from, Pam, aka Fawnn
Actually, Chris, HERE was my original plan for the perps...Slowly skin him/them inch by inch...pour gas on their skinless bodies, wait for the yowling to die down to a dull roar.rub sea salt all over them to reawaken the nerves....redouse in gas, set them on fire, quickly put out the fire so they don't die right yet, start over from step 2. 8-)
No...I'm sorry...I don't believe in putting them in jail and paying to keep them alive....don't even believe in lethal injections...figure most of the people on death row killed their victims painfully and think they should die painfully. Even if the death was instant...they should be killed painfully for the pain they have caused those left behind.
Sorry, Chris...stepping off of my soapbox. It just angers me to see these guys in prison getting free educations, free bodybuilding equipment and becoming jailhouse lawyers taking every little thing to court as a violation of their rights. They shouldn't HAVE any rights. Whoops...back on the soapbox again. Anyway...you take care of yourself and of Ed when he gets back and I'll add prayers that the beach soothes his grief.
Special huggs to you all
Doje
Hey Chris...I was wondering (since I never did ask) if you had a problem with me sending the Sad news email and the update from tonite on to a friend of mine who sent them on to other friends of Ed's. I just got a forward of a concerned recipient who didn't think we should be doing this and I just wanted to make sure you didn't have a problem with me sending them on. Thanks Chris...take care.
Doje
(Reply from Chris)
No problem at all.Whenever there's a tragedy, it somehow brings forth the best in people. Think of the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing--so many wonderful stories of courage and love and support. I believe we get some balance this way. It's what pulls us back from total despair. Everyone has had this experience on a personal level. Every funeral is filled with love, and old friends and family reconnecting and reaching out to one another. Even out in Fresno, where Ed knows absolutely no one, he and Gloria have been supported and carried by the love of Annie's friends.
I don't mind if you tell the whole world! And while you're at it, tell them to counsel their daughters. Tell those girls, If a man EVER hits you, get out--now. Don't look back, and take the threat seriously--very seriously.
By the way, someone has asked me about donations/contributions. I haven't talked with Ed yet, but I'm pretty sure he'd agree with the idea that was proposed to me. Donations to any women's shelter would be appropriate and very much appreciated. So if anyone asks...
Thanks—Chris
Chris,
So very sorry to hear about your step daughter Annie. I can only imagine how painful it must be. A couple of years ago my youngest daughter was involved with a boy who turned out to be quite abusive toward her. When she tried to break it off he harassed her constantly until we had to file harassment charges on him. He was told by the judge and police that after the 2nd offense he could be charged with stalking, which is a much more serious penalty. They were finally able to get through to him but for several months we were scared for her to leave the house. I only hope that they are able to get the guy that did this to Annie. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and my prayers are with you and your family at this time.
From: Roberta Eddington
Chris:
Oh, thanks for the update. I passed on the pertinent details to those who are worrying like heck and grieving for you.
There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about this and hurt for you and all of Annie's friends and family.
I have this overwhelming urge to just rush down there and hug Ed and you and find a way to take the hurt away. Impossible. But the urge stays with me constantly.
I wrote a column about Annie today, just because I couldn't stop thinking about it. But it wasn't right, because all I know about her I've learned through Ed's chatting and bragging about her. And I knew, also, that he might want to do that himself, first. It was just a need to express the grief I'm feeling on behalf of those who loved her. And I can't do that properly without knowing Annie.
Just let Ed know that I'd love to talk about her. Let others get to know her. Maybe teach others in the process. My editor wouldn't blink an eye about giving me space for Annie. It isn't much, but I feel so helpless, and want to do SOMETHING for her.
I have a friend who continuously preaches to me that the universe works. Things happen for a reason. I don't know if Ed will ever come to terms with why this happened to his precious daughter. I'm not sure I can come to terms with why a man as wonderful as Ed would ever be put through this agony.
I'm just glad as hell that you're there to see him through it. We've talked enough that I know just how much he loves and adores you. He considers you the best thing since sliced bread. Thank God he has you.
But if he needs his friends, too, I'm here. Anytime. And you, too, Chris. I mean it. Name it, I'm here.
Still sad and heartsore, Trish
Someone voiced some concern as to whether or not we should be forwarding this information. Therefore, Doje wrote to Chris regarding that concern and received the message below:
NOTE: Please take special notice of the Born-Longs' request that donations be made to a Women's Shelter of your choice.
Thank you Chris for taking the time (at this harrowing time) to share your thoughts with us.
I know I speak for us all when I send you and Ed our continued love and support.
Pam aka Fawnn
Our hearts and prayers are with you as you try to cope with this senseless tragedy. Please do not hesitate to let us know of anything we may do to assist you. Barbara & Steve Webster
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Useless to say so, of course, but my thoughts are with you.
Mary Ann
Ed, Chris, & Gloria
I am so terribly sorry to have heard what happened to Andrea when Jeff called me Monday. My heart goes out to all of you for this terrible loss. I know there is no consolation possible but I want you to know I'm thinking of you and hurting with you at this senseless, tragic act.
Ed, I hope that you in particular can absorb this loss without directly seeking vengeance, although I don't know if I could. I see Jeff frequently and Al Smith. We all have you in our hearts and are sending whatever it is that love provides in the way of support when nothing else is possible. Damn!
I wish I could just be there with you. Failing that I do send my love to you all.
Bob Frost
I just opened your message - I am terribly sorry to hear what happened. My God, what a world we live in! My prayers for all of you.
Kevin
I heard the news, Honestly, I have no idea what to say. I hope they catch the bastard. I'll do some blue twanging in memory. I know you were very proud of her. If there's anything I can do, please tell me.
Jon Camfield
My deepest sympathies to both you and Ed. I'm afraid it has taken me a day to write in order to fully comprehend what has happened. I honestly don't know how I would react had it been me and my daughter. You both seem to be bearing up quite remarkably. It is good that you have such a strong circle of friends and family in a time like this.
My thoughts are with you both. If there is anything I can do to help in any way, I'm only an e:mail or phone call away.
Jyn
Dear Ed,
I sure hope that this and other massages are getting through to you. Time seems to be dragging. You are in my thoughts continually. I am willing "white light" on you (a phrase from a good friend up here, someone who I feel you would like, in the same way I knew that you'd connect with Hugh McGinis). I know you to be a strong person, and I know you have great support from Chris, and many, many friends. But this is also a very personal tragedy, but I need you to hang in there. We all do. When you feel up to it, give me a call or e-mail, or whatever. Love, Jeff
Chris and Ed,
You will not know me, but that is ok. I was forwarded a letter that you wrote concerning your daughter, Andrea, and I am saddened for this to have happened to you. It should not have to happen to anyone.
I know that nothing can bring her back to you and you will have only her memories. I know that there is nothing that I can say or do to help mollify this time for you, but I wish to offer my deepest sympathies to you. I hope that at this time of tragedy, strength will be found.
There are many other things that I would like to add, but I will keep this brief in order not to bring further pain accidentally. Please know that I am here, that I would like to help in any way if I can, and that I, too, mourn this tragedy for you.
Sincerely, Howard
Dear Ed,
I hope I'm getting through. I feel sick to think that I've been losing the mail in space.
Just wanted to let you know that I'm still out here sending the best vibes I can muster. Audrey send her love, too. love, Jeff.
Oh, Ed!
There haven't been five minutes in a row that have gone by since Chris's heartbreaking note that I haven't thought about you and Annie.
You are one incredible man, mister, and I'm so proud of the way you're choosing to celebrate Annie's life. If she was anything like her father, then she was one incredible human.
If you don't mind, I'm going to organize a meeting in a channel called #Annie at the time of the memorial service, so those of us who know and love you can celebrate her life, too. And be with you in that small way.
I'd love to be able to post a couple of your fondest memories, but if it hurts too much to write them down now, I understand.
I feel so helpless, as I'm sure all of the people who love you are feeling right now. I'd give anything to be able to mend your torn heart.
If there's anything you need I can provide, you have but to ask and it's yours. My thoughts and prayers are with you, always.
Love, Trish
Dear Ed,
So glad to hear from you. It makes me feel mighty great to hear your strength coming through. But, I'm staying "on line" with you all the way.
There have been times in the past, the distant and not so distant, where only the love of others has been able to keep me on this plane. Even recently. I remember a sermon at the funeral of my two brothers back in '54 . The preacher talked about heart strings. I didn't understand then what I know now, and that is that we are connected right from the heart to a group, large or small, who feed and nourish us on a plane that we do not see, but are bound to, nonetheless. That makes us part of each other in pain and joy. Love, Jeff
Ed and Chris,
Just got this terrible news. I have been in Dallas all last week. My Mother died yesterday. We have expected my bad news, but yours comes as a total shock to me. Ed talked about her to me often enough that I felt like I knew her in some way. I am so sorry.
Love you guys, Mike Allen
Ed,
Welcome back. We'll be with you at 4:15 tomorrow.
Annie was about light and love and not at all about hatred. Her spirit has guided me away from that path, even though it was an easy one to go down. I am trying to follow the more difficult path that leads me higher and would make her proud of my actions. I am still trying to focus and find a way to best work in her memory.
Perhaps this was her reason for being. Although it's difficult to see and to find, all of us are here for a reason--and all things happen for a reason within the much larger cosmic picture. Perhaps her reason was to develop and spread the light and love that, through the circumstances of her leaving, will lead others to their higher path.
Love, Carrie
I'm glad you're back and thanks for elaborating on how you're feeling. I'll be at the tail end of a presentation to Animal Control Officers convening at UNH's Thompson School. I'll be thinking for Annie and all of you.
Bob
Ed & Chris
I can't begin to express my deep sadness at the news of Annie's murder. I was in El Paso at the time and could hardly do my job for the rest of the week. Ed I can only imagine what you are going through, the loss of my son to natural causes can only let me share the feeling of losing a child. If you need anything that I can provide it is already yours with out asking, just
tell me. If you need someone to yell at or talk to I am here.
Your Friend Sam Adair
HI Ed and Chris
logged into #authors and saw today the topic "Memorial Service for Ed's daughter Annie on Tuesday". I saw after that on the Cactus Hill Homepage that something has happened to your daughter! I'm so very, very sorry for you so please accept my heartfelt condolences!! My thoughts will be with you!
Kaari
Hi Ed. It is good to have you home. I have sent out your memorial info to be forwarded to other friends that you may not have even realized you have. We WILL be involved in the memorial. I will be at work but my boss has already been told that I am going to stop working during that time in memory of your daughter.
If you need anyone to talk to....about anything at all....please feel free to contact me. You and your family are and will be in my prayers and may God bless this act of violence in a way you'd never imagine.
Doje
Dear Ed,
This is an amazing tool. I admit to liking it although Aud hates the computer. Anyway, although I won't be able to be in (on?) the chat room tomorrow, I will be able stop what I'm doing and put my energy into the service. I will remember Annie as I knew her, even tho' briefly. Vibrant and happy. I'll be thinking of you. I hope that when some time has past and you feel better, that we will be able to catch up and keep in touch, even if it's thru this box. love, Jeff
Dear Ed,
We are so sorry to hear of your daughter. It is a terrible tragedy. I wish I had words to lesson your pain, but there isn't any. I want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and if we can do anything let us know. Take one day at a time. I found this prayer, I,d like to share.
Your gentle face and patient smile,
with sadness we recall, you had a
kindly word for each, and died beloved
by all. The voice is mute and stilled
the heart, that loved us well and
true, ah, bitter was the trail to part,
from one so good as you. You are not
forgotten loved one, nor will you
ever be, as long and memory last, we
will remember thee. We miss you now,
our hearts are sore, as time goes by
we miss you more. Your loving smile,
your gentle face, no one can fill your
vacant place.
Kathy and Brent Tunningley
Ed,
I'm glad that you are weathering what is likely the most difficult experience a parent can experience. As I said in my note I've had a hint of what it must be like but was fortunate in not experiencing what you did. It is said in the Buddhist tradition; "Hatred never ceases hatred, which by love alone is ended." It is wonderful that you can adopt some of that attitude under these painful circumstances. You are an inspiration and a great power of example to me.
I will, of course, be joining you in the memory and moment of silence.
Metta, Hugh
You don't know me, we never got to meet, but my name is Adam and I was dating Annie for the past 3 months. She told me a lot about you and that she wanted me to meet you someday. I miss her soo much although the time I got to spend with her was much to short I still cherish it. We had a lot of plans for the future and believe me when I tell you that I loved her with all my heart and I would have done anything for her, to make her happy. Whoever did this to her will pay dearly.... I just wanted to drop a few lines to you to express the feelings I had for her, because I know she probably never mentioned me to you and to say how proud I was to have known an angel on earth. I look forward to that one sweet day when I see her again and we can make good on all the plans we had.
Sincerely, Adam Cano Jr.
There is something so appalling about just leaving (or putting) a body out in a field somewhere, as though it never had any value to any one. If it is possible to compound the ugliness of a murder by someone you once knew and for the most part trusted and maybe even loved, it is the hideousness of having them then set your body on fire. After all of that, discarding it in a field like so much roadside trash, to the forces of nature - my only reaction was to simply say "BASTARD" at my computer screen, upon reading your latest news. I hope they fry him. It won't lessen the grief her family and friends bear, but I truly feel that someone who has so little disregard for a human life doesn't deserve our sympathy or consideration or even a cold cell for the rest of his life. He isn't fit to breathe our air. Dgz
Oh, Ed, Annie was absolutely beautiful. You weren't exaggerating about that smile. I looked at her pictures, and I couldn't help but smile right back at her, even through the misty tears.
I just emailed Rob (who maintains my web site) to see if there's a way he'd be able to put her pic up there, so we can direct folks there to see her. I don't know what kind of work is involved, so don't know if it's even humanly possible on such short notice. But I'd love for others to see her and delight in that smile.
The other option is to dcc it to folks who come to the #Annie channel today. I just hate the distraction of worrying about that during that time.
Ed, Annie was a beautiful, beautiful girl. Her spirit shined all around her in those pictures. No wonder you still feel her presence and her love. You always will. A soul that lovely never disappears.
Love, Trish
CactusEd.
I would like a copy of the story, I talked a bit with fawnn, and would like to do a memorial website for her as well. I was thinking putting up the story might be a good thing as well. I was also planning to put together a CGI script that would allow people to send their condolences/remembrances to you.
If you would like for me to do this, please let me know. Rob (aka Elrikan)
Ed and Chris:
You said it perfectly. And it's more than enough. Thanks don't need to be said among friends. I'm so glad that we talked about Annie. I love her.
Here's one more thing I wanted to say today, but didn't get the chance. Again from Kahlil Gibran:
"And could you keep your heart in wonders at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."
To me this says accept the grief. But celebrate, too. And you're already doing this. I'm so proud of you for it. Hate what happened to her. Celebrate who she was and how she affected everyone who knew her.I never knew her, Ed, but she's affected me. I've loved meeting her through you, and the people who were touched by her life.
And I happen to hold the same philosophy that Mike (treetop) holds. She was brought home for a reason. She'd accomplished her tasks. And she's up there fighting for what she brings to us next time around.
I have this vision of Annie telling people to pick their favorite clouds and stars already. Get over it, man, let's move on to the next issue. She is and was a beautiful woman. The world has lost. We've lost. The universe is better off.
Love, Trish
Dear Mr and Mrs Born-Long,
I want to offer my sympathies again on your loss. I met you at Rachel and James's wedding a year ago, and though I don't know you all well, I do think of you at this time. I also want to apologize for not being there today on channel #annie. My ISP was down for three hours this afternoon. I wanted to be there, and was thinking of you. Please know that you remain in my prayers. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.
Sincerely, Traci Giselle Lyn
I'll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours. Bob Dylan
Dear Ed and Chris:
I had hoped to be online for the memorial service today, but thunderstorms forced me to shut my computer down.You have both been in my heart since Rach told me of the loss of your daughter. As a parent, I can only imagine what you are going through.My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
With deep affection, Betsy (Banshee)
Hi Ed,
I'd love to get a copy of Annie's story if it's not too much trouble. Thanks.
I'm so glad to see you celebrating her life. That veil is far thinner than any of us realize. When you think of her, she really IS able to hear you.
((ED)) MJ
Hello,
I am so sorry about your daughter Annie. She is such a beautiful girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time of grief. I wish you comfort and strength. If, from this distance, I can do anything at all to help you through, please do not hesitate to call on me. I am here for you.
God Bless You All! Sincerely, Clara D. Fyffe aka allwrite
Ed & Chris,
I'll not be able to join the chat but will be sharing the silence and spirit. Again, you have both been a great power of example to me, probably at a time that you feel at your lowest. The web site was wonderful.
Metta, Hugh
Cactus Ed, and Family.
I would like to offer my condolences upon the loss of your daughter. Life can be unmitigatingly cruel and random, but at least, within the purview of friends, harm and loss fade to solace and hope. Again, my condolences.
Robert Mosley
Hi Ed and Chris, HUGS from myself, all the kittens, and Alvin too.
there is a Real Space Pictures Web Page at http://www.ice.net/~kwalsh/rspics.htm
And I have added a dedication to the extended family that is #callahans and Alt.Callahans.
I have added a list of deceased patrons and relatives, and I would gladly add Annie's name to this if you wish
HUGS, Kevin
You are going to be on the net at 5:50-5:15 EDT? Perfect. We will gather in #Annie. The reason you were opped is that this channel isn't registered. You created it when you joined it, which is what we'll be doing tomorrow.
If you send me the various writings on Annie, I'd be happy to ask Elrikan to post them on my web page and we could direct people there to read them. There is another way, creating an ascii file of them, and then running a script on that file on IRC. I forget the exact command, but it will then print that file. You have to be careful, though, because if it's too long, you'll flood yourself and others off. So short passages are always best.
I'm going to be gathering a couple of passages I'd like to share with all the folks who join, but that's completely up to you. We can celebrate Annie's life in any way you want. Let me know, and I'll get the word out.
Take care, sweet man. Love, Trish
Ed,
I wasn't able to make your memorial, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and Annie.
Mary Miller
Ed,
Our condolences on your loss. Ours and all the J-harpists and parents in the world. A beautiful young lady deserves a beautiful song. Play her one
Mark & Veronica Poss
Thanks for the picture of Annie I would appreciate any that you can send me and any letters also. I went to Annie's memorial today, it was nice. Afterwards we went and ate at one of her favorite restaurants. She was there with us in spirit. There was about 12 of us all together that went up there, we all knew her from work. We all loved her and miss her soo much. Bye for now, hope to hear from you soon.
Adam Cano Jr
Dear Chris and Ed,
I forgot to mention this. I logged the memorial in #Annie, at least the portion I was there. If you'd like, I'd be happy to send it along. Gloria might like to see the outpouring of love and support from your friends, even those of us who never had the pleasure of meeting her.
Let me know. I'd be happy to mail it to you. Love, Trish
I told Chris about the address below earlier; my dad gave it to me 'cos a couple in my stepmom's congregation has unfortunately joined. Their daughter is in the San Antonio chapter. If you feel the need of a support group, try this one:
Parents of Murdered Children
3312 Lookout Lane
Austin, TX 78746-1431
(512) 329-8520Talk to you later. Enjoy the brownies.
Rachel (& James)
Dear Ed,
I'm guessing, but I can imagine that after the "busy-ness" of the Memorial service you must be feeling quite let down. The hardest part is yet to be. I don't know how to help except to let you know that we are still here, still thinking of you, and still beaming out the white light on you. Are you back at work? I can't imagine you not working, and I'm sure work can help spread out the time needed for grieving. It's odd that grieving is always presented as something you do and are done with. It's never been that way for me. It seems to be a life long process. I hope that your friends who love you can help keep it all in balance. I tried to access Annie's web site but couldn't, I'm sorry to say. I even went after you playing the jew's harp but didn't succeed. But I'm learning. I have, however, been getting all your messages (I think), and with the exception of yesterday, have been checking the mail. It's laughable that I have to start the generator, and then wait for Aud to leave the house. She can't stand the computer. Such is life. Please do not despair. I repeat that you should use me in any way that makes sense, in any way that can help. love, Jeff
Dear Annie,
I met you when you first visited this planet, and now you are visiting elsewhere. I'm still a visitor here, as we all are, and will see you again when the loop closes.
Love till then, Kevin (And love to both of you as well. HEY!)
Hi Ed;
Please don't worry about the getting cut off on the Memorial Day, I felt it was time for you to get some "alone time" anyway. At least the cyber-gods must have thought so!
You wrote: > My goal tomorrow is to smile each time she crosses my mind. I will keep
> after it until it just happens naturally.
That is a wonderful goal for "tomorrow", but just know it is absolutely acceptable to go through sorrow, sadness, and other emotions "today". Sometimes we men get into listening to old tapes, you know, that "John Wayne" crap that we can get into. The "I should" and "I shouldn't" feel a certain way. What I have experienced is that sooner or later, I will feel what I didn't want to feel, go through what I didn't want to go through. Seems like we humans are just wired that way.
Your healing will happen in just the right time. I don't know when that is, but it will be exactly when it is supposed to be.
Margie and I send our love to you and Chris, Craig
Accept His blessings, you'll be surprised! He's always working behind the scenes!!!
Chris, the other Chris told me about the shocking tragedy which you and your family have just suffered. I was appalled by the news, and write to extend my sympathy and condolences. Sincerely, Bob Jones
Dear Ed and Chris,
My wife and I wanted to express our deepest sympathy after hearing about your family loss. Although we've only been corresponding a short time, I feel a connection thru our common interest. Both my wife and I have enjoyed the jokes you've passed our way, and look forward to continuing to smile in the future. Again, our thoughts are with you.
Sincerely, Bill & Stef Greener
To: bornlong@bga.com
Subject: Re: Yea we can still smile but how?
Welcome back? Strange how we can laugh and cry at the same time. Darned if I understand. Must be a blessing. Any way just cause you laugh at jokes nobody believes your not hurting any more. You just take all the time you need Sir Ed.
Love ya
Ed and Chris:
Awww, thanks so much for the note. You are good peoples. And thank you, thank you for the e-card and the ray of Texas sunshine. Made my day.
Here is the log from Annie's Memorial. Reading it, I just choked up all over again. The outpouring of love and support for two special people and your precious daughter just jumps from the screen.
Love to you both. Trish
Note from Ed: You can read the log that Trish sent us of the on-line memorial service. Just click here.
Ed,
Yes you can E-mail me at this address and I would very much appreciate anything you have on Annie I miss her soo much. I worked with her at Food 4 Less, that's how we met. I am going to her service tomorrow in Santa Cruz. I wish I could have met you, Annie always talked so highly of you, she said you are very funny. Anyway I think about her all the time and thanks for answering my E-mail. Take care and keep in touch.
Adam Cano Jr
P.S. I could never forget that magical smile or those beautiful blue eyes.
Dear Annie, If you are out there and can hear or breathe our thoughts, they are with you. We didn't know you, but we knew the father that created you who is a wonderful example of a human being, all caring and all loving, we will pray for you always. You were a beautiful person, just like your wonderful father, we are just very sorry that he did not have more time in this world to spend with you. God Bless You! Cindi
Dear Annie, we are very sorry your life was so short on this earth. But thank goodness you are some where very safe. You can never be hurt again. The good Lord is with you ever step of the way now. You well be missed very much by friends and family, but we all know you are safe and with our good Lord. See you soon. Peggy
Annie, you were a beautiful girl, we only pray to God that you are with him and one day that we will be with you. I can't wait to tell you what a great dude you father and step mother really are. I will pray for you every day until I meet you in Heaven. When we meet, I am sure you will know me from my prayers. Cindi Morin
Chris:
I can't tell you how shocked and sorry I am to hear about your family's tragedy. My sincerest sympathy to you and your family. May God help you through this troubled time.
Carol
Hi Ed and Chris! Just got back from my mini-vacation to NJ to visit my grandmother whom I have not seen for 11 years and will probably never see again until her funeral. 8-/ But the trip was GREAT! with the exception of my car blowing up before the trip and my son trying to see how strong his ankle bone is by attempting to break it. (Which he failed but which I wish he'd succeeded at since it is severely sprained which totally fudges things up for his football and he's horribly upset)
But I remembered what you had done and said this past month and I took every moment with my grandmother (who is an AWESOME! woman) and made the most of it and will have wonderful memories of this trip to look back on when the time comes that I no longer have her to enjoy.
Love you guys...just wanted to share. Hope all is working well in your lives and I pray that you are still smiling your big smiles. Kinda helps take the pain away doesn't it. For the thought of losing my grandmother has already brought me to tears even as I type this and although she has lived many long years and is ready to go, I do not wish to allow her to depart. She is not sick, but she commented repeatedly during my visit that she is old, not going to be around much longer, and that all her friends are gone and she's tired. But I will remember all the fun we had before she moved to Florida and will remember this wonderful mini-vacation that I had with her.
Doje
hello, I'm a friend of Adam's, and he wanted to share this with me. I want to start by saying that I am very sorry about your loss, I have a son of my own, and I can't bear to think about what you are going through. I also wanted to say that she is a beautiful girl, and the story that you wrote with her help is wonderful. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers. Dawn
Dear Ed,
We are so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. If there is anything that we can do please call us. ............believe it or not, this is my first E-mail.WE are moving into our new house today. I'll write more later. Looks like I need some practice.
your friend, Brent
Dear Chris and Ed,
I just got your message regarding the terrible happenings in California. I have been in Atlanta since early June. Steven was cleaning out my shalom.com mailbox when he found your message.
Among the Jewish mystics, there is the belief that souls have to be completed in this world before they are ready to be with God. The rabbis believed that when a child died, without having completed what we consider a full life, the child was completing the soul work done in a previous life. That's why children seem more precious, without the hard edge we acquire through age - because they are closer to perfecting their soul than the rest of us.
There is nothing I can say to keep grief from doing its terrible work. Just know that my prayers are said with your lose on my mind and a plea for your comfort and healing.
\\steve\\
Dear Chris- You hear about things like this happening everyday. On the news, talkshows, magazines, and you think and you especially pray that this could never happen to you or any of your loved ones. I have no words that can begin to express just how terribly sorry I am for you and Ed, but whatever they may be, I am sending them to you full speed ahead. Please know that I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers, and if there is anything I can ever do for you, all you have to do is ask. You have become a good friend to me, and I thank you for considering me as one of yours. I appreciate you sharing with me such a personal time in your life. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Just remember, I have two good ears and they are great at listening. Sending lots of good thoughts to you Leslie
Hi Ed,
This is a restart of a message. The last one disappeared and may show up somewhere...
We had a good visit with Gloria, but I am sure she is still in shock. Because none of it makes any sense. A day with with Peter is good for laughs, though. And everyone needed them. Gloria entrusted us with a bunch of stuff--newspaper articles, a strange story about Annie that she composed in shock (?) right after the event. And some of Annie's ashes. I am OK with this. I am honored, in fact, to be so trusted a friend. We have a place for them which I think is fitting. How do you feel about that? Our place is about the celebration of life and of renewal. It's quiet and I believe that Annie would like this place. But I'd like to hear from you on the subject.
We didn't get to spend but a part of a day with Annie two years ago. But G had a series of photos spanning her brief life. And she looks happy in all of them. That's got to mean a lot.
Web Site. I am not sure exactly what it is that I want to do, or need to do. But when you are ready, I'd like to do something! Putting the brochure up seems like the right thing to do. Then linking or whatever as far out as I can go, I guess. But there's plenty of time for that later. Put me in the mall for sure.
Got to try to fix the "FEED JAM" situation on the printer. Love to you both. Jeff
Mr. Born-Long,
If I am not mistaken, the bible says an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I am so frustrated that there have been no arrests made, that I am about ready to go out and handle things myself. I loved Annie that much, and my heart just feels so empty, I miss her soo. It's so hard to even get up in the morning without her. I go to sleep thinking about her and I wake up thinking about her, missing her, and thinking what might have been between us if that bastard hadn't done what he did to her. I just don't know what to do or think anymore.I loved Annie so much, I wanted to marry her, but we didn't have enough time together. I don't know what else to say.
Adam
Have they done a thorough search of his car (for fuel residue) or checked to see if he rented one around that time? Or borrowed one? Where is his car stored? If in a garage, is that same fuel found there? Where would one go to purchase it? Any dealers in the area ID him as a buyer? Lots still to be checked out. The "pros" have a lot of ground yet to cover. Still, I've seen some psychics on TV who worked with police and helped in amazing ways. I'd go that route in a month or so, if it seemed as though the police were on the case... Don't despair; hang in there. Dgz
Dear Ed,
You don't know me (I don't think), but I was on #callahans one afternoon when Rachel made the shocking announcement about Andrea's death, and just today I found Andrea's memorial page. When I saw her picture, once again I was struck deeply, and I had a strong urge to extend myself to you in some way. I wish I could offer you some soothing elixir, but I feel helpless other than telling you that I have offered up prayers for you, Andrea and your family. I doubt that any event can hurt as acutely as the loss of a child--let alone under such brutal and violent circumstances--and I can only imagine the pain and rage that you're all feeling.
I live in a large city, so I probably have built up an immunity to a daily barrage of violent news...but I can tell you that all the people who were there on channel that afternoon were thunderstruck when Rachel told us about Andrea. We simply fell silent. As you know, we share lots and lots of pain together, but in all the time I've spent at #callahans and on alt.callahans, I don't think I've heard any news there as devastatingly painful and shocking as this. Professionally, I've worked with many, many victims of trauma, but I know of no really good recourse for the survivors other than talking about what happened as much as possible and allowing yourself to grieve so that time will lessen the ache. I don't know all the details of Andrea's death, but I'm hoping that the perpetrator will be or already has been caught so that he can be punished and prevented from hurting anyone else. Hopefully, that will bring some closure to this horrible event.
I think that were I in your position, I'd be reaching out for support in many directions, and I suspect you have many loving friends around you to help in that capacity. But you know that there are and lots of supportive people at #callahans if you ever wish to share your feelings or just toss back a few blessings. I, for one, would be happy to buy you a drink and offer an ear. And if you just feel like writing (aimlessly or pointedly), my mailbox is open to you.
Please be gentle with yourself and know that you have many friends out there you've yet to meet.
Sincerely, soozeeq (a.k.a. kolachkie)
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